Making a Difference

By Laura Muñoz de Benito, VE Volunteer, January 2013

Being a volunteer and committing myself to work in a place outside my comfort zone was something I had been considering for quite a while. It took around 7 years for this decision to be made and for the idea to take shape, but at last, I can say it is my reality today.

Two months after landing in Santiago, I find myself as a volunteer working with four other colleagues in a boys’ home in the Macul community of Santiago, called Posada del Niño, where we help boys between the ages of 5 and 18. It’s important to point out that we are the first volunteers to join forces with this partner organization, which is a new experience for both parties.

As every path we choose in life, there have been good days and not so good days, but how can we expect to grow without the latter?

I can remember the first weeks as really exciting ones; as our presence was a novelty for the kids and theirs to us. We did not know exactly how to approach them and what to expect, so  the first days were about getting to know the kids, playing soccer in the courtyard, enjoying the sunny days by the pool, taking small trips, playing guitar and reading stories. The feeling of joy and discovery, however, were mixed with others; I felt like an outsider, a stranger invading their homes and trying to convince them, at time without much success, to change their habits and do things differently. Being the outsider, there was no reason for them to listen to me when I asked them to get down from a tree or to stop fighting, and it was hard to place limits when they were not used to them.

As time went by, things got easier. Relationships took a while to get established, many of the kids were not obedient, nor respectful.  The environment itself was quite unstable as the kids come and go from the hogar as well as the staff and caretakers. Some new faces arrived, some others left, and although it’s not the ideal situation, this is the reality we have to face and have to make work for the kids.  This complex situation makes the role of the volunteers even more crucial.

So, how do I deal with a situation like this?

Personally, I felt that my 7 years of experience working with kids and studying psychology did not help as much as I thought they would. I could not directly apply the things I learned, from games to educational strategies. Moreover, it was a vicious cycle that really frustrated me because the kids didn’t cooperate nor did they behave. Some days, I felt resigned, accepting that I was desultory and powerless.  On one side, I didn’t know how to act around the kids, but on the other side, I felt that nothing  about the well-functioning of the hogar was up to us. I kept thinking, “‘How can I be this unmotivated if my dream was always to work with children?”  “Perhaps, it is not the right choice for me in the first place?”  “What is going on?”

When I started doubting myself, it was clear something needed to change. I started to learn how to adapt and be more open-minded. With the training and support of VE and of my fellow volunteers, I left the illusions behind me.  We started proposing different ways to approach the problems we were facing in the hogar. I changed the way I was dealing with the problems I was facing constantly.

The kids have taught me to let things flow, to be more flexible and patient, and to leave behind all the strict norms that I carried with me from the traditional school system in Barcelona. I listened more to the children’s needs instead of imposing a fixed schedule of activities and things to do. I also got to know the kids better by trying not to make them adjust to my rules and following my orders “just because I said so.”

For example, when I arrive at the hogar and a kid comes running to the door to shoot me with his water gun, what good is it for me to scold him in order to make him respect me, because I said so, simply because I’m having a bad day? I should consider that it’s summer, it’s hot, and logically he wants to play.  Perhaps understanding it this way, I can enjoy summer, the water, and have a good time.  When you look it at this way, it seems pretty small but realizing it can make a day good or bad.    Without forgetting that some times, it’s necessary to set rules or be mad.

They have taught me that bonds are slowly created, but they are created and possible; you reap what you sow.  The kids trust you more, and you can have better conversations.  In the end, you learn to negotiate when something is not right.  They really value a friendly and positive attitude.

As we cannot change how things are run in the hogar or establish norms.  And above all, keeping in mind that we are the first volunteers working at Posada. But, we can persist.

We have to think of alternative solutions to the problems at hand because they exist.

That’s why I want to cheer on all future volunteers and say from my personal experience that WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

We need to believe our efforts will have an impact in the future even though it may not be seen in the short run. Believing gives us reason to keep going.  We need to make small changes that will gradually evolve for the better of the kids.  We need to try to provide a positive environment where the next volunteers can make it even better for the kids.  We need to teach them important values, to fight for their rights, to work more effectively in meeting their individual needs. In the end, it will pay off. And maybe our purpose is to lead the way for future volunteers, to try and show that we are important, and that we are fulfilling our mission by and for the kids. We must believe in the value and power that we have as volunteers, being part of something that we built ourselves, and although it is not an easy journey, it is still possible.

Here I am, learning something new every day in this big Latin American capital that welcomed me with open arms. I dare to say, looking back after completing half of my time here, this the place I want to be, learning with the kids and from them as well, experiencing life with them every day.  There are not many people walking down this path at this time, but as others come along, in the end we will be many who are providing a much rewarding experience for all.

What else can I say? I am happy to share that in Posada, we are busy with new projects. We are in the midst of creating a proper space for the volunteers to work with the kids, providing educational games, tutoring, a reading space, and a place where the kids can relax when they are not feeling their best.

We just built recycling bins and have plans to plant a garden. We are also thinking about painting the whole building complex. Some of the staff are very involved and supportive, and the kids, little by little, are participating more in the workshops and activities, especially when they see us engaging them. The best way to show excitement is to show excitement!

These are small changes, that probably in four months do not amount to something huge, but I am certain that with the support of everybody, we will see a before and after, an actual difference. This is what makes us who we are. We are capable and committed volunteers that are proud to help make a difference.